Classroom Blues

I have been feeling a little melancholy this week. Today was the official last day of school. I can't believe I have been away for a whole year. I feel like I just walked out of my classroom. Like I pushed pause, but I could hit play at any moment. Talking to a fellow teacher made me realize that things have gone forward without me. My classroom is no longer mine. I missed a whole group of kids. They started their first year of school and ended it, and I wasn't there. Someone else hugged them. Someone else listened to their stories. Someone else worried about them. Someone else took them to the zoo. Someone else sharpened their pencils. Someone else made their little graduation caps. Someone else will miss them.

I used to miss teaching every day. I used to dream about it most nights. I used to feel really sad. It is easier now. The teacher schedule got overshadowed by the mommy routine. I have so much fun playing with, loving, and caring for Eddie that my heart has been full, my mind has been busy, and my body tired. I wouldn't change what I do every day for anything. Yet I can't shake the classroom blues.

I am so blessed to have had a job that was more than a job--it was a part of me. And now I am blessed to be Eddie's mom!

SuperEd

Eddie has got a great smile for flying in the air in Daddy's arms! His face is looking more and more like the face of a little boy! Where did my baby go?

Balloon Ghost

Eddie went to his first birthday party on Saturday. His friend, Alex, turned two. Eddie loved the balloons the best. We tied this one to his wrist. He loved to have us hand it to him so he could let it go. For his birthday we are definitely giving him helium balloons!


I don't know if this picture demonstrates it as well as I thought it would, but it is very hard to take pictures of Edison. His skin is so white that he ends up looking like Casper in a lot of his pictures. When the picture is small enough, his nose is virtually nonexistent. Note: his sippy cup hooked into his overalls on accident when he went from crawling position to getting up on his knees.

Make-Up Work

It seems kind of lame at this point, but I was enjoying posting the daily pics of Edison. I am going to post the days I missed. Just for fun! It will also show some of the fun things we did with my family while they were here.


This picture was from last Wednesday (June 13). Eddie has been spending a lot of time sitting on his knees. I am amazed that it is comfortable to him. He looks cute. In this picture we are at my brother's house (the one that lives near Savannah, GA).


On Thursday, June 14, Eddie went miniature golfing for the first time. He loved eating the ball every time I wasn't using it. At first he was nice about giving it back to me when I needed it. Eventually, he wasn't keen on that!


Eddie's feet in the Atlantic Ocean on Friday, June 15. He loved having the water splash over his legs! Maybe I will post the video later.


This picture demonstrates a lot of things-Eddie's love for his baby songs dvd, his newfound love for teddy bears, and his first experience at being possessive. Eddie was standing at the tv, dancing to the music. Kyle, his two-year-old cousin you can see in the corner of the photo, went up to join him. As soon as Kyle had his hands up on the tv stand, Eddie swatted them away and went right back to dancing! He is growing up!


Reading his first newspaper at Six Flags on Monday. Notice the print smudge on his nose! Luckily none of our limbs were severed while we were there!


So sleepy on our way to lunch on Tuesday. I see Eddie do this many times a day, but to those of you who are fans from afar may like to see how sweet he is when he is tired!

On Thursday I took Eddie swimming for the first time. He sat in a baby floatey thing in the water. He loved kicking his legs in it (and having me kick them for him). He also loved watching his ball pop up out of the water after I dunked it under. It was hard to get pics of these things, though, as Ben wasn't with us. Here he is playing with a bucket on the steps.

Enough for now.

Dust Bunnies

My family is coming to visit for a week. They will land in Atlanta in less than three hours. Since I only dust sporadically, I figured this might be a good opportunity. Eddie was very keen on the duster, so I gave it to him. He was sincerely very helpful at dusting the bottom of the computer desk. As you can see here, he left nothing undusted (not even the inside of the printer!). Afterwards he went on to dust all the clean laundry, the couch, his books, the tv, and even me! It looks like he has his first official chore.

Banana Baby

It looks like Ben's fear that eating a banana in public may make him look like a monkey is actually coming true for his son. Eddie loves his bananas, and he seems almost monkey-like as he scarfs the whole banana down in one sitting. He will eat banana pieces but prefers taking bites off the banana. He pushes the banana as far back in his mouth as it will go before biting off a huge piece. I had a hard time selecting which picture to post-the one where he is smiling huge as he holds the banana, the one where he is smooshing banana in his fist, the one where he is trying to share his banana with the camera. I finally went for the one that showcases him trying to swallow the big banana bite. His eyes get big. He puts his chin to his chest. He purses his lips. He reaches out for me just in case this is the time he is unsuccessful at getting it down. And then the banana slides down his throat. His big monkey cheeks shrink back to normal size, and he is on to the next bite.

Daily Pictures

As Eddie gets older, I have noticed that I take less pictures of him. Rather than getting out the camera almost every day, I get it out several times a month. He does such cute things every day. I don't want to miss the action. For the month of June, I have set a goal to take a picture of Edison every day. I haven't quite made it, but I have done better. Now I have pictures of him doing the things he does every day, like play in the dishwasher. Seeing how this blog has become (or, I guess, always was) dedicated to pictures of Edison, I might as well perpetuate the problem by posting some of the cute daily pictures. It will help you, family and friends, see what Eddie is doing and how he is changing. Of course, I would like to post a picture every day, but we all know that won't happen. I do quite often have ideas of blogs I could write, but blogging never seems to be my top priority. Maybe some day...



But for today, here is Eddie "eating" his first tomato. He loved it so much he gave us one of his famous "scrunchy-face smiles" (he starting smiling like this when he was eight months old; I am not sure where he got it, but we love it!).

Mobility-Eddie's and Mine

It has been an exciting week to be Eddie's mom. Last Sunday (May 6-his ten-month birthday) Eddie finally started using his ability to creep (pull himself along the floor on his stomach) to get himself around the house. He is a walker. He always wants to hold my hands and walk around the house. If something he wanted was more than a foot away, he wanted me to help him walk to it. He still likes to walk. However, most of the time he won't even think to ask for my help.

Last Tuesday he started crawling! Only two days after he became independently mobile at all! He is still pretty shaky at it. He crawls for the first few paces. Then he loses upper body strength and falls flat on his stomach. He creeps the rest of the way (which he is really fast at now). It is amazing how you hope for these developments forever. You begin to think they are never going to come. Then all of a sudden, they've arrived! He will never regress.

Some people told me that my baby's independent mobility would be a trial for me. I totally disagree. I have so much more freedom than I have had for the past ten months. I can get so much more done in a day. I can go to the bathroom virtually whenever I want! I guess if I had been the kind of mom that allowed my baby to cry while I did things around the house, I would dislike his ability to get around. Until now, Eddie has never not been either in my arms or holding my hands. When he would sit to play with something, he would get upset if I wasn't right next to him. So my life has really changed.

This is not the end of my exciting news, though. On Saturday, May 5, I was able to leave Eddie while he napped for the first time. In the past he has only gone to sleep by breastfeeding. He would only stay asleep as long as I stayed with him. So naptime was never Melanietime. He is now learning to fall asleep by himself. This isn't seamless yet. Every time is different. But almost always the end result is that he falls asleep, and I can leave him to do whatever I want! It is thrilling. He is benefiting as much as I am.

I know a lot of mothers (even first-time mothers) figure out these things long before I did. I think I definitely have been slow to catch on. However, I think Edison has benefited by the way I have mothered him. He has always made it clear when he is ready to be more independent. I have never pushed him. Yet he has always eventually learned to do things in the more socially "normal" way. I believe he is and will be a healthy, stable individual as a direct result of this.

Happy Birthday!!!

Yesterday was my birthday. I had a great day. I feel overwhelmed by all the love that is had for me. I received many calls, messages, cards, and even some thoughtful gifts. I was worried about being so far away from family on this special occasion, but I felt an outpouring of love. I was also worried about being a mom on my birthday. I wondered if the day would feel less special, as I would be doing all the things I normally do. I found the opposite to be true, though. It was really neat to share my birthday with my son. I found myself wondering where he had been all my other birthdays.

Here are some highlights from the celebration.



After Ben was done with school, he took me to Jason's Deli for dinner. Eddie sat in a high chair and smiled and played the whole time. He has never been willing to sit in a high chair at a restaurant before.



Eddie is feeding me his cheesecake fingers. Ben made me this cheesecake on Sunday. Very sweet! And nice of Ben, too!




Nathalie, my Georgia friend, had a party for me today, complete with purple streamers, a homemade sign, a delicious lasagna dinner, and this carrot cake she decorated herself! She is so kind and generous.

Thanks for sharing my day with me. I love you all!

Din Din

When Eddie eats, I say "mmm....yum, yum!" and lick my lips. He has caught on. In this video you can see (not hear) him doing his take on this. He puckers his lips and sticks out his tongue. He's so cute! "But you don't have to take my word for it!" (hee, hee)

Picture Update

Edison is getting good at standing up against things. He is really good at balancing!


He's getting really good at getting on his hands and knees!!


Eddie is so sweet-hearted. He loves dolls and stuffed animals. He's giving my doll a kiss!!!!


Last week he learned how to suck in his lower lip. Now he holds his mouth like this constantly.


Playing his piano with his ball, his most favorite possession!


Eddie with his cousins, Kyle and baby Jeremy!!! (Edison didn't want to sit on the couch. He wanted to be with his mom!)


Eddie's favorite place to play--the sink! He can even turn on the water!


Playing in his car seat after a shower

Funny Face Eddie

Eddie learned to pout the day we flew back to Atlanta. A week later he started laughing when I would make a pouty face for him. Then one night he started making pouty faces to make us laugh. He was so good at it that sometimes we started to believe he was really sad. You have to see it! He is so adorable! I have never loved someone so much!

Eddie's First Cereal

He didn't want Ben to take the spoon away!


On his half-birthday, Edison tried baby cereal for the first time! Many things suprised me at our first experience with eating cereal.
*He loved it! I thought it would be an uphill battle, but he wanted that food. He ate it without any fuss!
*He wanted to feed himself! Each time I brought the spoon to his mouth, he grabbed it and put it in himself.
*When he wanted more, he banged on the table. I thought that was a learned response that only babies with experience did. I was wrong.
*How messy he gets with just a little rice cereal!

More updates to come!

For those of you who do not already read Ben's blog,

Click below to see the latest pictures of Eddie! He is adorable!
http://benjaminsbrain.blogspot.com/2006/11/pics-from-proud-papa.html

He can sit up for a minute at a time. When he starts to lose his balance, he can catch himself. If you hold his hands, he can pull himself from laying down to sitting up. While holding his hands, he can also go from sitting to standing up. He transfers toys from one hand to the other. He drops toys just to watch them fall and to pick them up again. He is working hard to get to the toys that are all around him. He puts two sounds together now. Last week it sounded like he said "mom, mom", but I think it was more like "ma, ma". I know he didn't know what he was saying, but it was adorable anyway! He is so much fun! I can already see what parents mean when they say it is so sad to see your children grow up. I don't have a newborn anymore. While I am excited for the new developments, I am always going to miss my little baby Eddie!

We will be on our way to William's for Thanksgiving soon. We are very excited! We will be in Salt Lake in three weeks!!! I can't wait!!! Love you all!

Edison pictures

Isn't he adorable?!?!?
He finally found his laugh! A week and a half ago he began laughing out loud when Ben rubbed his belly on Ben's head. Now he laughs when you make a face or even kiss him.
He is actually holding himself up with his hands. He can sit like this for a minute. He loves to practice sitting up!
He loves water bottles. When he is fussy sometimes we can distract him with a water bottle!
His first time typing. Here is what he wrote :

H y yyhhhhhhl,mml=]

More to come later! Love you all!

Happy One Year!

It has been the best year of my life. I love you, Benjamin!

October pics

Playing with Mama-his little, shy smile!
His big smile!
He looks so cool in his shoes from Uncle Steve and Aunt Jamie!!!
He loves to stand and climb up us. This outfit is brought to you by Aunt Michelle! His bum is adorable in it!
I guess some would say it is never too soon to start him on Mountain Dew! He loved looking at this cup. He grabbed the straw on his own and pulled it up to his mouth. P.S. These are my favorite 'jamas of his-thanks, Cousin Diana!

Kicking back on the couch wearing the outfit from his Grandma Yellow for the first time! (I can't believe you are his grandma, Mom!) Chunky legs!
He is as stylish as Uncle KB Joe!
This one is dedicated to Uncle Ta Ta. Miss you, big guy!
Look how well he is doing at grabbing and holding on to things. He was strong enough to pull the giraffe off its velcro attachment. He is holding the blue giraffe by its tail as he goes for the orange giraffe.

None of these pictures are the best in and of themselves. I mainly write this blog to keep family and friends updated on Edison's growth (not that many remember to check it very often). I would be sad if they never saw him in the clothes they have given him.

News:

Edison does not like Counting Crows. They make him cry! Apparently, he is a fan of Better Than Ezra, though.

Edison is now eating two and a half to three hours apart (meaning if he eats at1, he will eat again between 3:30-4) and only for 40 minutes at a time. From birth to this week, he ate two hours apart for one hour. This makes a huge difference. I really enjoy it!

Edison and I ran our first errand without Ben. We got Ben a birthday present last Friday. It was exhilarating!

We celebrated Ben's birthday this past weekend with his parents. We had a lot of fun! They seem to love Eddie, and he really loves them (they got lots of smiles!). We feel blessed that they are willing to make the 13-hour drive to see us just for a weekend!

Edison rolled over twice this past weekend-from back to stomach. He was laying on our bed, devouring his hands. He rolled so he could get at his hands more voraciously. He doesn't know he did it. He hasn't tried to do it again. Ben says it doesn't count because it was on the bed, which made it a lot easier for him. I think it counts for something, though. He does enjoy when I roll him over.

I need to start packing things for Edison to do when we go places. Church was hard on Sunday because the woman in front of us had long hair. He loves hair and tried to get hers. We wouldn't let him grab it. He got upset. We took him outside, but he wouldn't stop screaming. We ended up leaving early. I am starting to see what people meant when they said it would just get harder.

Ben and Eddie have been suffering from colds this week, Ben especially. Eddie hasn't been too bad-just coughing, sneezing, and acting fussier than normal. I'm used to being the one to bring sicknesses home (teaching Kindergarten). It is odd for Ben to start something.

I just began reading East of Eden by Steinbeck. I really like it thus far. Here's a quote I like: "They called him a comical genius and carried his stories carefully home, and they wondered at how the stories spilled out on the way, for they never sounded the same repeated in their own kitchens."

Edison is telling me it is time to stop. Love you all!

Update

Between eating and sleeping, Edison is most commonly found like this--with a huge smile on his face! He loves to play. His favorite games still involve his tongue, though he likes music and singing (he even tried his singing voice out for the first time yesterday), being treated like a ventriloquist’s dummy (Ben discovered he likes his mouth opened and closed in time with talking), dancing (he only dances on his own accord to "Little Ghost" by the White Stripes, as sung by Ben), talking (he now talks to inanimate objects, as well as his parents), grabbing toys (and books, as of today), and, of course, anything to do with his mom's hair (we can now add pulling to his list of accomplishments; ouch!). Unfortunately no one believes how happy he is, as he is reserved around unfamiliar faces. And everyone besides Mom and Dad is unfamiliar.
Edison is so cute in his baseball outfit from his aunt JoAnna.

Eddie now weighs 13 pounds. He is beginning to grow out of some of his zero to three month clothes, proving they last for all of three weeks and you really should not waste your money on too many.

Eddie still hates water, making bathtime my least favorite chore. I guess he already forgot his nine month stint spent swimming! His little bathtub is a waste of space, as the only way we can trick him into a bath is by holding him and using a washcloth to wash and rinse him.

A few non-Eddie notes:

I have discovered the best dessert in the world--carrot cake cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory. I had the pleasure of having it last weekend when we went out to eat with my brothers and their wives who came to visit us (yeah!). My reaction to the first bite was quite extreme, but I wasn't the only one to exclaim such joy upon the initial taste of this perfect dessert! I can't wait for Ben's birthday, in hopes his parents will take us there for more!

I have a book recommendation. It is The Kite Runner. I really enjoyed reading it, although parts were depressing and disturbing. If you have read it, let me know. I can't wait to discuss it! We all know it will be quite awhile before Ben gets around to reading it!

Despite my initial fears that BNL does not recognize Atlanta as a significant city, they have added ATL to their Barenaked Ladies are Me tour. Ben and I will be at their concert on November 9. I can't wait, although I have no idea what we will do with Eddie. I have never had him out of my sight for more than a couple of minutes. If anything would encourage me to leave him for a couple of hours, it will be BNL!!! The only sad thing is Edison enjoys their new album almost more than we do! He will hate to miss the concert! So Edison doesn't only have poor taste in music (referring to his preference for Johnny Cash while in the womb)!

More pics

Who can resist a little boy in denim?
Our great little escape artist is happiest when he finds a way out of the sleep sack!
First time in the swing...
First time in the bouncer. He loves to look at the orange giraffe.

Life in ATL

Trying to figure out what the camera is.
Very handsome, especially in his first collared shirt!
Sweet little smile!
The only thing that will calm Edison when he is fussy is very fast twirling. He will go from screaming to smiling in seconds with this method.
My favorite pic of Eddie on his blessing day. This one is laugh-out-loud funny.


We have been in Georgia for three weeks now. I feel more at home in our home here than I ever felt in our home in SLC. I am not sure why this is. Maybe it's because our home here is so much nicer. Maybe it is because I can count on one hand how many times I have left this home since we arrived. Maybe it is because we actually have our own washer and dryer here. Probably it is because we are beginning this home as a family. Our home really does feel like a sanctuary. It is peaceful and serene here. It has been a great place to meditate and to cultivate a loving relationship with Edison. We have been so blessed, and that feeling radiates in our home.

I know we live in Georgia, and that thought doesn't even surprise me. I am and will be very happy here. The only thing that makes me sad is thinking of all the people that love our lil' Eddie. I am sad that they are missing out on his life. I am sad that he won't ever know them in the way I wish he would. I am scared that their immense love for him will wane with distance and time. I am fearful that they won't know what their love for our son has meant (and will forever mean) to us. I pray for opportunities to show them.

I also get sad when I see school-related things. I am surprised at how much I miss teaching school. I only had the opportunity to do it for two years. But I miss sharpening all those pencils twice a day. I miss the butterflies I felt while I was walking to meet my students at the start of each day. I miss getting to know two whole new groups of kids-their strengths and weaknesses, their humor and sorrows, and especially their love, as well as my love for them. I wouldn't trade being with Eddie for anything in the world, though. As I think that many parents leave newborns his age or younger in the care of others while they work, I get sad because I know I couldn't bear to leave him. I am very honored to have the ability to always be with him. Just this week I can tell that he feels very safe when he is with me. Seeing me automatically comforts him. Feeling safe allows him to begin to explore the world around him. I can't put to words how it feels to be this person for him. I really am honored.