My heart wore pants to church on Sunday, December 16, but I
wore a dress. I am glad I did, too,
because afterwards there was so much negativity online about the project (from
friends and acquaintances!). “Women
aren’t unequal in our church and people who think they are are in danger of
losing their testimonies and leaving the church”, pretty much sums it up. I am really disappointed.
I was also really disappointed with the attitudes from
members of my church about the election this year. At first I thought it was
just a couple of funny extremists who had the idea that Governor Romney losing
the election was surely a “sign of the times”.
Based on FB and blog reactions, however, I think many members of my
church thought religion was the most important factor in this presidential
race.
I think many people were confused about why women were
wearing pants to church. The purpose was
to start a conversation. I think the
specific reasons were different for every feminist. Here’s why I wanted to wear pants:
Women and men are not equal in our church. It is
most important to me that members of our church realize this one fact. I think it is news to most people. It was
news to me when I wrote my last blog about feminism. I thought I wasn’t a feminist because I don’t
have an issue with traditional gender roles.
I have since come to understand that there is a problem in my church and
that I am a feminist. A friend of mine
wrote about how happy she is that she has never been treated as less because of
her gender. Here’s the thing-I think we
are all treated as less, but we expect it and accept it. We don’t feel bad because we have heard all
of the talks about how special we are simply because we are women, and we
believe them. “Separate but equal” was
illegal when it came to race in our schools, so why do we accept it with roles
of women and men and church?
Here’s one example of how women are not equal in our
church. Women aren’t allowed to be
ordinance workers at the temple if they have children at home. Men are.
So men can work 40 + hours a week away from their children and families
and then take a Saturday once a month to work in the temple, but women
can’t. What is wordlessly being said by
this rule? That it’s never okay for
women to be away from their children. Men
and women are both taught to put family first, but rules are made that force
women to do so and not men. Now some temples
do allow women with children to clean the temple or do secretarial work for the
temple. These types of service aren’t
strictly forbidden in the rules, so maybe these temples are trying to find a
way to allow women a chance to serve. It
feels like 1950s idea of gender roles, though.
President Hinckley was asked once in an interview in
Australia if Heavenly Father could ever change the rules about not having women
as Priests. His answer wasn’t no. It was, in fact, “Yes.
But there is no agitation for that.
Our women are happy. They’re
satisfied.” (
http://agitatingfaithfully.org/post;jsessionid=2803821D898EB321688A9873399DCE20?id=the-quote-in-context
) So, change can and does happen in our
church (I think this may be news for a lot of people. I know I had to learn within the past couple
of years that policies in our church do change.), but not without
revelation. Revelation doesn’t come if
it isn’t sought. What would make the
prophet seek revelation about the role of women in our church? Agitation.
We, as women, have to admit that we aren’t happy and that we aren’t
satisfied. Wearing pants was one way for
people to show that they want church leaders to seek revelation and change
policies and practices about women in the church.
Many people complained about the inappropriateness of women “protesting”
at church. Wearing pants, when women
aren’t commanded to, isn’t a protest, but it is a way to agitate.
To pants or not to pants:
When I heard feminists were wearing pants to church instead
of traditional skirts and dresses, I told Ben I was going to do it, too. Ben worried that pants may be a distraction
from the purpose of church, worshipping.
I took some time soul searching and realized wearing pants would, of
course, not hinder my ability to worship. If anything, it would increase my
worship. I felt humbled by the possible change
in my routine that for the first time in a while the worshipping would have
been meaningful instead of rote.
I got nervous, though, and went back and forth about my
decision a few times. I decided to ask
myself the classic question, “What would Jesus do?”. Hmm, well, Jesus didn’t hang with the crowd
of saints who had been worshipping at church in their particular way for
generations. He was more interested in
the one than the 99. He definitely would
have been all for this. Jesus was known
for his tradition-breaking.
Here’s why I wore a dress:
I ultimately came to the conclusion that it didn’t matter to
Heavenly Father or Jesus what I wore to church, but it did matter to me. I wish it didn’t, but it did. I have never been an envelope pusher. I know that change needs to happen, but I am
just not the one to try to break the system.
I didn’t want to mark myself. And
I knew me wearing pants wouldn’t really change anything. (It’s not like the prophet was going to be at
my church!)
What really decided it for me was a baptism I went to on
Saturday the 15th. I looked
around at all the women and girls in their dresses and skirts, and they looked
beautiful to me. Of course this doesn’t
mean that I think women are less beautiful if the material around their legs is
sewn. But the way people look at church
is the way people have looked at church my whole life. It looks right to me. It looks beautiful to me. My issue with feminism isn’t with wearing
dresses to church. Dresses and skirts
are comfortable and I wear them by choice many weekdays (especially when the
weather is warm). I wear them on Sundays
not by choice, but no longer by obligation.
Because of wearing-pants-to-church day I am now aware that what women
and men wear to church doesn’t matter to Heavenly Father or Jesus. I knew wearing pants, while it wouldn’t distract
me from my worship, would distract many from their worship. That wouldn’t have been my fault; people are
always looking for a distraction from worshipping. But I didn’t want to be an easy target for
the mind wanderings of fellow churchgoers.
So I wore a dress.
