Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Life in ATL

Trying to figure out what the camera is.
Very handsome, especially in his first collared shirt!
Sweet little smile!
The only thing that will calm Edison when he is fussy is very fast twirling. He will go from screaming to smiling in seconds with this method.
My favorite pic of Eddie on his blessing day. This one is laugh-out-loud funny.

We have been in Georgia for three weeks now. I feel more at home in our home here than I ever felt in our home in SLC. I am not sure why this is. Maybe it's because our home here is so much nicer. Maybe it is because I can count on one hand how many times I have left this home since we arrived. Maybe it is because we actually have our own washer and dryer here. Probably it is because we are beginning this home as a family. Our home really does feel like a sanctuary. It is peaceful and serene here. It has been a great place to meditate and to cultivate a loving relationship with Edison. We have been so blessed, and that feeling radiates in our home.

I know we live in Georgia, and that thought doesn't even surprise me. I am and will be very happy here. The only thing that makes me sad is thinking of all the people that love our lil' Eddie. I am sad that they are missing out on his life. I am sad that he won't ever know them in the way I wish he would. I am scared that their immense love for him will wane with distance and time. I am fearful that they won't know what their love for our son has meant (and will forever mean) to us. I pray for opportunities to show them.

I also get sad when I see school-related things. I am surprised at how much I miss teaching school. I only had the opportunity to do it for two years. But I miss sharpening all those pencils twice a day. I miss the butterflies I felt while I was walking to meet my students at the start of each day. I miss getting to know two whole new groups of kids-their strengths and weaknesses, their humor and sorrows, and especially their love, as well as my love for them. I wouldn't trade being with Eddie for anything in the world, though. As I think that many parents leave newborns his age or younger in the care of others while they work, I get sad because I know I couldn't bear to leave him. I am very honored to have the ability to always be with him. Just this week I can tell that he feels very safe when he is with me. Seeing me automatically comforts him. Feeling safe allows him to begin to explore the world around him. I can't put to words how it feels to be this person for him. I really am honored.