Friday, November 23, 2012


 Creegan enjoyed watching bears and Big Bird in the parade.  He sat down to watch every time he heard a guitar playing while someone sang.

 Getting the Christmas tree out of the box

 Creegan loves taking one arm out of his shirts.  This poor kid has a chronically messy face!

 Admiring the tree

 Creegers was fascinated with the lights

 My cute boys!

 Creegan automatically lifted wreaths to his face.  He loved looking at himslef in the mirror.  I wish we could have gotten a better picture!

 Excited about the stockings,

 and Christmas books,
and all the decor!

For Thanksgiving we had intended to make the traditional dinner, but it was a hard week.  I no longer want to ever cause myself unnecessary stress.  I assume there will be a time soon when I have the energy to make Thanksgiving dinner, but it wasn't yesterday.  We got up and still turned on the parade, like I usually do while I make the food.  Eddie told me a few weeks ago that the parade is the most boring thing we ever do.  He watched the entire thing, though, this year and only complained once.  During the parade, Peter kept begging to go to a parade.  I promised to take him to the next parade here.  Watching the parade made the day feel like a holiday, and it got me excited for Christmas.  So we decided to put up our Christmas tree.  This is such a fun year because all our boys are old enough to enjoy the holiday and Creegan is young enough to be learning it for the first time.  Yesterday he learned who Santa is and learned to say Christmas.  He loves the lights on the tree.  He laid under the tree at bedtime last night and almost fell asleep.  He loved putting ornaments on the tree.  He always pointed at a high up spot and wanted to be lifted up to hang his ornaments high.  I told Peter I would sing him a Christmas song at bedtime.  He asked if we had to sing a Christmas song.  He preferred me to make up a song about Angry Birds.  :)  Happy Thanksgiving, and Merry Christmas, everybody!

What I Think...About Feminism

I am not a feminist, at least I don't call myself one.  Recently, though, I realized how passionate I am about some issues that fall under the topic of feminism.  I decided I need to explore feminist ideas to see what I think.  

When I went to the temple to receive my endowment for the first time, I felt offended as a female.  After that initial experience, Ben and I went to the temple every week for ten months.  It took time, effort, and lots of prayers to view things in a way that didn't feel offensive to me as a female.  

Here's what I think:  Our culture and society is part of who we are and how we think.  The United States of America's culture is definitely patriarchal.  Joseph Smith, a young boy, received a revelation to start the church I am now a part of.  Most people thought he was insane.  If he would have been a young girl, though, even less people would have listened.  

I believe Heavenly Father lets us function and move forward with our natural-occurring misunderstandings and misinformation.  Heavenly Father reveals to us only the things we seek.  We don't seek things that we take for granted as "natural".  For example, in our church, black males were given the Priesthood (the power of God on earth) in 1979.  I don't believe Heavenly Father ever told the prophets prior to '79 to not give the priesthood to black males.  I believe the prophets assumed that black men shouldn't have it because they lived in a time in which people that were black were viewed as less than people that were white.  It took a prophet living in a different time with different ideas to question and pray for revelation about this in order for Heavenly Father to reveal how things really should be. 

I read some of Rough Stone Rolling, the biography about Joseph Smith.  Apparently it wasn't uncommon for women in the days of Joseph Smith to use the Priesthood to give blessings.  I thought this was a really neat idea.  Why would Heavenly Father not want all of his children to be able to use his power on earth?  Why would he only want males to be able to have it?  I don’t think there are good answers to these questions. 

If one of my kids got seriously hurt and lay dying and I was alone with him, I would not hesitate to call on Heavenly Father’s power to heal him, and I do not believe I would be acting out of line.

Ben asked me recently if I am waiting for it to be revealed that women should have the Priesthood.  I am not.  I don’t expect that to happen.  I have never taken that idea seriously, but now I am wondering why not. 

I really, really hate that in every lesson about the Priesthood at church, some woman always makes the comment that women don’t need the Priesthood because we have the babies.  Like the Priesthood and motherhood are equal and comparable instead of being two totally different things!  Often I think the point of these comments is that men need the Priesthood to be humbled and made more righteous and closer to Heavenly Father.  Women have motherhood that does that.  Or, some of them may even be implying that women are superior and don’t need anything to be made closer to Heavenly Father, which is just idiotic and untrue.  There are certain things that are just said at church that actually make no sense, but somehow we have heard them so many times that we don’t realize how dumb they are. 

I actually think the idea of women not being allowed the Priesthood would be more troubling if our ministry was paid.  Most normal people don’t seek positions in our church because there is no financial compensation for the positions and the work for the positions has to come out of each person’s already limited time.  If people could seek jobs at church as their careers, it would be more limiting for women to not be allowed certain positions.

I do not like the idea that motherhood is a punishment for Eve eating the fruit in the Garden of Eden.  Yes, motherhood is hard and childbirth is painful, but I don’t view Heavenly Father as a jerk.  I think you would have to view Heavenly Father as a jerk to really believe this.  It is offensive if anyone really thinks this is true.

I don’t know if there is a Heavenly Mother.  The idea makes sense, but why don’t we hear about her?  Why don’t we talk about her?  I think the commonly passed around idea that we don’t talk about her in order to be respectful is offensive.  As a mother, if my kids never talked to me or about me or acknowledged me in any way, I wouldn’t feel loved.  I would feel unloved and unappreciated.  Ben, as my husband, would know this and would not encourage behavior that made me feel this way.  So why would Heavenly Father?  I don’t think Heavenly Father has encouraged this.  I think church leaders, men, have not sought revelation regarding this issue, at least not that’s been made public.  I think we can seek our own revelation for our own sake. 

I don’t spend my time feeling like less of a person in my church because of my gender because I believe what I have been taught-my role is different but equally important.  It is sad to me, though, that I have had to work to see my role as equally important, which is something men have never had to do. I think there are more concerns for raising a daughter in this church than a son.    I think there is a lot of untrue and inappropriate propaganda at church that is presented as fact and truth.  I definitely don’t like to hear stupid people say stupid stuff that makes no sense and shows no sign of actual thinking.   

Much more to come!


Wednesday, November 21, 2012

What I Think

I am going to start posting some of my thoughts on here.  I don't discuss my opinions on current issues or hot-button topics with anyone but Ben.  During the election, for example, I got tired of people assuming I think the same as them.  I don't.  I feel dishonest because I don't say anything.

I keep my thoughts to myself for a few reasons.  I worry that I can't hold my own in a serious discussion because I am not perfectly informed on the issues.  (Not that that stops others from putting their opinions out there...)  I also keep quiet because people are mean about those who think differently than them.  Truth be told, I don't like people to disagree with me.  I much prefer people agreeing with me.  :)  

So I want to be honest for my own sake and sanity.  I also want to push myself to think more-to be able to better defend and further develop my lines of thinking .  I want to be more of a complete person and not just the one role that I play with most of my time.  Also, I used to really enjoy writing.  I never thought I was any good at it until I could no longer do it (time-wise and mental capacity-wise).  Then I looked back at previous writings and admitted I wasn't so bad.  

My ideas are not the norm for people of my culture and religion and life choices.  I want to be a voice offering a different way to look at things.  I know people don't change, so I don't have grandiose expectations.  (I am aware that not many people will even read these thoughts.)  But, perhaps, I can be successful at bringing awareness that many lines of thought can exist in our culture and religion.  I used to see things as black and white, and now I can admit that it's all gray.  So here's to bringing a little more gray to the world!

Fair 2012

 On the ferris wheel

 Creegan is in love with "wheels" (ferris wheels), so he was so excited to arrive at the fair and see the "wheel".  "Get out!", he squealed.

 Handsome, Eddie, and look how happy Peter is!

 Silly Peter talking to a goat.

 Eddie begged and begged to ride in that stroller.

It was a success!

Our kids love going to the fair.  It's become a tradition.  They were so worried we weren't going to make it this year with everything going on.  We squeaked in on the last day.  It was a lot of fun!  We watched the pigs race, we fed the animals, everyone got to choose three rides, and we ate an elephant ear.  We picked up a pizza on the way home, and Creegan fell asleep in the car.  A successful night!  November 12, 2012

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Pumpkin Carving

 Look at that stuff!

 Wearing baggies to not have to touch the goopy stuff!

 What a cutie!  He loved putting the lid on and taking it off.

 An adorable baggy-wearing boy!

 Love that face!

 Creegan took one arm out of his shirt.  I love this happy smile!

 Eddie has great facial expressions!

 Peter and his pumpkin

 Love my boys!!!

 Happy, silly Peter!

 Creegan's, Eddie's, and Peter's

This year we carved pumpkins on November 5.  We got the pumpkins before Halloween, but with me getting sick and being in the hospital for the holiday, we never carved them until after.  This was the first year the kids had their own pumpkins rather than just having one big family pumpkin.  Of course we did the carving for the kids.  They just told us what they wanted.  I asked Creegan what shapes he wanted the different facial features to be.  They were so excited to put them outside when we were done.  They couldn't wait for someone to come to our door and see the pumpkins.  Of course after we were done carving, I realized we didn't have any candles to light them with.  The boys were really disappointed.  We rectified that the next day, though!  So glad we could do all our fun Halloween stuff, even if it was in November!

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Creegan's Birthday Cake

 Creegan loved pushing down on the car.

 Get away from my cake, Peter!

 Showing Eddie the car

 Look at that adorable boy!

 Cake damage due to Creegers pushing the car down

 Creegan was a little frightened of the candles, especially when they were lit.

The cake :)

These pictures actually make me feel a little bit sad, as Creegan's birthday was the beginning of my sickness.  I made this cake on Creegan's birthday.  When I went to frost it the evening of his birthday, I got the chills and fever symptoms super badly.  Much to Eddie's chagrin, we put off having cake that night.  Little did we know we were putting it off for a week!  Ben ended up frosting the cake at some point.  We ate the cake Saturday, November 4, right after I got home from the hospital.  It was still moist and good after a week of sitting in the fridge!  Oh, I wrote on it right before we ate it.  Creegan seemed happy with it.  He hadn't seen the car before that was on it.  It's a Wheelie that went with other Wheelies and a Wheelies Amusement Park loop that he got for his birthday.  The cake was the funfetti kind, and we had cookie dough icecream with it. Creegan seemed to really like the boys' cookie dough icecream when we went to TCBY.  We love our big boy, Creegan!  I no longer refer to him as my baby, though he still identifies himself as a baby!