I am going to go crazy!

I am feeling so much anxiety about becoming a mom! Our last doctor's appointment was on Friday. Our doctor confirmed my suspicion that little Edison had dropped over a week ago. For first time moms, usually the baby is born two to three weeks after he drops, which means that he could be born as early as this Friday (June 23) and as late as next Friday (June 30). He isn't due until July 13. And I am trying not to hold my breath, but it is impossible! Having a baby is the biggest thing I have ever done, and it could happen as early as ten minutes from now and as late as four weeks from now! How do I deal with that?!?!? I am scared of labor and delivery. I am scared of bringing him home from the hospital and being solely in charge of him. I am overwhelmed by how much my life will change. No longer will my actions be based on what I want to do. Little Eddie will dictate when I am awake and asleep. When I go places. When I use the bathroom, even. How does one make sense of this? If I just knew when, I think I could handle the anxiety better!

Good news, though. We aren't being forced into a c-section. Our doc said that a big head does not necessitate a c-section. In fact, she said a bigger head is better than a bigger body. She was really pleased to discover how low he is. She said that if he already made it through the first tight spot, he has a better chance of making it all the way out. We will be having another ultrasound on Thursday to monitor his head size.