I have been feeling a little melancholy this week. Today was the official last day of school. I can't believe I have been away for a whole year. I feel like I just walked out of my classroom. Like I pushed pause, but I could hit play at any moment. Talking to a fellow teacher made me realize that things have gone forward without me. My classroom is no longer mine. I missed a whole group of kids. They started their first year of school and ended it, and I wasn't there. Someone else hugged them. Someone else listened to their stories. Someone else worried about them. Someone else took them to the zoo. Someone else sharpened their pencils. Someone else made their little graduation caps. Someone else will miss them.
I used to miss teaching every day. I used to dream about it most nights. I used to feel really sad. It is easier now. The teacher schedule got overshadowed by the mommy routine. I have so much fun playing with, loving, and caring for Eddie that my heart has been full, my mind has been busy, and my body tired. I wouldn't change what I do every day for anything. Yet I can't shake the classroom blues.
I am so blessed to have had a job that was more than a job--it was a part of me. And now I am blessed to be Eddie's mom!
Sweet Dreams Aren’t Made of This
4 years ago
2 comments:
Mel..I suspect that your Mommy hormones are flourishing and doing well. Everything you say about teaching sounds so maternal. Still, I'm sure you miss your job and your definition of self. You were a loving and good teacher. You had a lot to give. I hope you don't stay overly blue.
What a nice tribute to what you gave so much to. It's neat that you have those memories even if they make the missing it part even harder.
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